If there’s anything we’ve learned over the course of seven feature films, hundreds of books, dozens of games and a particularly feisty round of Star Wars Monopoly, it’s that the galaxy is a dangerous place. However peaceful your planet seems, nowhere is safe from a sudden bout of Stormtroopers, or being exploded by a big shiny Death Star.
To line up with the release of Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi – and to channel our excitement into something productive – we’ve put together some of our favourite (but distinctly unsafe) moments in the main Star Wars canon. In no particular order, here are seven flagrant H&S breaches in Star Wars.
A crushing blow
In the process of rescuing Princess Leia from the bowels of the Death Star, Han and Luke find themselves pinned down by Stormtroopers. Given the Imperial soldiers’ terrible aim, you’d normally fancy your chances of escaping by other means. The group however find themselves plunging into a giant trash compactor, which then threatens to make them a “whole lot thinner”.
While the decision to clamber into the machine is highly irresponsible, there are also some serious breaches of safety protocols. The inability to open the maintenance door from the inside is clearly dangerous, and the lack of proper maintenance schedules has led to an infestation of tentacular space monsters. The Death Star would surely have been sanctioned for these breaches, had it not been blown up a few weeks later.
Hazard rating: 7/10
Hibernating Han
One of the great moments from the greatest Star Wars film to date, The Empire Strikes Back, is Han Solo’s capture in Cloud City. Having been sold out to Vader by Lando Calrissian, Han and Leia are tortured by Vader, who plans to lure in Luke Skywalker and freeze him in carbonite. To test the process, Vader vacuum-packs Han, whose fate is ambiguous until the next movie.
You shouldn’t need a COSHH qualification to know that an occasionally deadly form of storage still poses a risk, regardless of whether Han lives. There also seems to be little protection for carbon-freezing workers, with the open sided pit posing a significant fall and trip hazard. This scene does also feature one of the greatest lines in cinema history, however (“I love you.” “I know.”), so we’re willing to give it a pass.
Hazard rating: 2/10
Mace window
One of the stand-out characters from the less beloved prequels is Samuel L. Jackson’s Mace Windu. The wise but pragmatic Jedi was the elected leader of the Jedi Council – and more importantly, broke the dominance of the red and blue lightsabers with his iconic purple blade.
Windu met an untimely end when moving to arrest Chancellor Palpatine, as he was thrown from a window by Anakin Skywalker. We’d always advise the use of shatterproof glass in office buildings of this height, particularly for an individual of Palpatine’s importance. But really, this is down to not following movie rule no. 234: don’t stand near things you could be thrown through.
Hazard rating: 4/10
Hands-off approach
The Lightsaber is one of the most enduring images from Star Wars, inspiring millions of playground fights around the world. For this and other reasons, it’s also one of the least safe inventions in history. Unlike a regular sword, which is only dangerous when swung at great force, the Lightsaber’s plasma blade burns so hot that the lightest contact with a limb is enough to shear it off – as demonstrated with Luke, Anakin and all manner of major characters.
Many debates have been had about the efficacy of a straight blade like this, how blows would be deflected, and how easy it would be to accidentally injure yourself with the Jedis’ flashy pirouettes. It helps that it’s only entrusted to the Jedi, whose Force powers are mysterious enough to explain away any risks. But all Lightsabers could surely benefit from our next point…
Hazard rating: 5/10
En guard
Kylo Ren, the stroppy teenager of the Star Wars universe, was not universally beloved when he appeared in The Force Awakens. He did however benefit from a great performance by Adam Driver, a pretty cool costume, and a particularly stylish lightsaber. The latter was particularly notable for its unique, three-pronged crossguard design, giving it the appearance of a ‘Game of Thrones’ style flaming sword.
Many fans have taken issue with Kylo’s lightsaber, suggesting that the presence of the crossguard would do more harm than good. However, cursory investigation shows that this simply isn’t true: the plasma tech in Star Wars is controlled either by super strong magnets or Force magic. With the right training, the crossguard should only help to protect him from getting his hands chopped off.
Hazard rating: 0/10
Running the gauntlet
The climactic sequence in the original Star Wars is the famous trench run on the Death Star. Rebel fighters from Red and Green squadron approach the planet-sized weapon, aiming to exploit a critical weak point in its design. While the ships are too small and quick for the station’s cannons to hit, they are chased down by Darth Vader and his squadron of TIE fighters.
We can excuse certain safety issues here on the basis that it was a suicide mission to begin with. Our biggest issue is with the guys running the Death Star, who were in charge of over a million lives, all lost in a single sweep. Why only send four TIE fighters to take on twenty rebels? Why not police the surrounding space a bit better? Why not build cannons that can hit small craft? Why not protect the bit that can blow your whole station up? If any Imperial officers had survived, we’d give them a serious dressing down.
Hazard rating: 8/10
Don’t Luke down
From the famous shot of the binary sunset to the enormous Star Destroyer wreck in The Force Awakens, Star Wars is all about scale. So it’s perhaps unsurprising that so many characters like working at heights. Boba Fett has his jetpack, Mace has his window, and Luke has his famous showdown with dad Vader, in the rigging of Cloud City.
Luke’s site safety is lacking, to say the least. First he wanders blindly into the carbon freezing room without any safety gear, and surely ignoring signage. When he finds Vader (in the correct protective gear) he then stays in the room, refusing to take any precautions. Then, by simply being a bit naff, he falls in the freezing tank and is thrown through a window. To cap it all off, he has the temerity to jump to his death, only being saved by a kindly air vent. There’s just no teaching some people.
Hazard rating: 10/10
how did the infamous lack of safety rails on the death star/every imperial installation not make this list !? 🙂